With Easter just around the corner I must admit I have been thinking more about the “proverbial rabbit hole,” and my recent experience then chocolate bunnies. People have asked me how “re-entry” has been after my 2-month vacation in Mexico… my honest response, “not easy!” I half-jokingly say, “I feel like I was catapulted out of the womb (Namaste Village, Ajijic, Mexico) into the cold harsh world of circumstances of conditions.”
I felt the pull into the rabbit hole when my flight out of Guadalajara on March 19, was delayed by 3 hours. This delay caused a domino effect, and I missed my connecting flight out of Puerto Vallarta that afternoon. The next flight I could book was the following day, so yep, I had to purchase a brand-new ticket and not at the seat sale price of my previous ticket. It was also spring break and a Mexican holiday weekend, so the hotel room I was fortunate enough to find, came at a premium price. As I factored in meals and taxis and the hassle of doing "everything on crutches," I watched my “calm, namaste demeanor” slowly dissolve. The next evening, I finally arrived into Edmonton, and home to Camrose, winter and two months of mail with a very swollen foot…and thinking that took me a little deeper down the rabbit hole.
The next morning with two wet loads of laundry on the go, my dryer quit working…and now there was no turning back, I was immersed in rabbit hole. The week seemed to continue this way, with each unexpected calamity holding me there. What was most interesting, was the awareness that I was watching myself. I was fully caught up in this melodrama, until finally, one day last week, after snapping at yet another person, I had the thought, “OMG Lynne you are one grumpy woman!” This thought was the reality check I needed.
So why am I sharing this experience? Not because I am proud of the way I showed up inside of these circumstances; but because I see how easily our thinking can derail us. A powerful quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us to “stand guard at the portal of your mind.” AND THIS IS THE WORK! We can’t always control what is coming at us, but we can decide how we will think about it. This takes awareness, loving-kindness and patience with ourselves. In each moment we can push the re-set button on our thinking and empower ourselves to choose again. What thought would better serve me and others here? What thought would bring me peace? There is a wisdom within each and every one of us that knows the answer.
If you’ve found your thinking taking you down the rabbit hole recently, know you are not alone. The invitation is to be gentle with yourself and remember... it takes a ship seven miles to turn around. It took me a day or two to feel grounded again.
It was a week! And now the dryer is fixed, the mail is opened, my new credit card arrived, and the insurance claims are submitted.
My bike is now set up on a indoor stand, and the first time since February 9th, I can go “nowhere” fast, which feels great:-) My foot is slowly healing and friends and family continue to support me. In this moment I have much to be grateful for, and this feels much more expansive.
Spring Blessings & Happy April!